Newt, the Historian

By Harry E. Berndt

 

I am an historian, says Newt

I have the inside track

Of things that others just guess at

And therefore cannot attack, because

I have the facts.

 

I am a consummate scholar

With facts and figures for sale

I offer advice for the dollar

To those who can't afford to fail

 

As an historian I offer advice

I never offer to lobby

But for those who can pay the price

I can talk to my friends in that body

That body known for its vice